Dealing with life

Well, I wish I could say I have returned from my trip to New York having conquered the skies and confronted my past, but I actually never went. That’s how life goes, sometimes.

Long story short, we were supposed to meet a couple of people in the city but one became indisposed while the other never actually ended up being able to go. Prior to our would-be trip, I had prayed asking the Almighty to make it so we did not go if we weren’t supposed to. Sure enough, every chance we had was shut to us. Therefore, we didn’t go.

This created some headaches for us, but nothing we can’t get through. But this does raise some issues I’ve been dealing with lately that I’d like to talk about.

What will be will be

I’ve often attempted to be generally OK with whatever happens in my life. If something happened that was against me in any way, whether intentionally or by happenstance, I would simply say in my mind “se la vie” (that’s life/such is life) or “que sera, sera” (what will be, will be). Much of my life has been a series of circumstances that I didn’t choose for myself being pulled or pushed one way or another. New York was (would have been) such an event along with another trip happening this fall overseas.

Entering into my mid-life years (not quite, but almost), I’ve gotten to where I simply want to sit still and just be. I spend a lot of time sitting on my porch listening to the sounds of nature or escaping into a book. But life determines that I need to go here, there, or do this or that and it honestly gets to me sometimes. However, the life of a Hebrew is not meant to be a sedentary one to sit in one place and do nothing. Our lives are not our own and a Hebrew goes where they are sent to do what is needed. We provide aid to those in need as ambassadors of Messiah and show love wherever we are; and to whomever. I accept that as true in my mind, but I haven’t quite internalized it as my default “way of life”.

Acknowledging doubt

I don’t talk about prophecy a whole lot. You may think otherwise if you’ve read some of my teachings though I’m much more interested in the reason behind them. I’m however not ignorant to the events happening around the world. We are in a time that wouldn’t be surprising if the end were to happen within two or three years. But what good does it do to know this? Isn’t the point that what we’ve been saying all along is true and we need to repent of our wickedness?

Anyways, my concerns come from not being in control. I must be in places at certain times that may lead to being in circumstances that would not go well for others in my life. But, I have no choice. It could be dangerous and set us in quite the predicament… but I have no choice. I don’t like that, but “que sera, sera”, right?

That’s where I’m at with things. As a Hebrew Believer, I shouldn’t at all be concerned with what will or could happen. In the Gospels, Yeshua sent out his disciples and told them they would be provided for. Reading further, we see that they were.. But then I read certain prophecies and am confronted with the fact that believers are foretold to almost completely become extinct on planet earth. That’s not from dying of old age, that’s from global disasters and genocide.

Life is Messiah, death is gain

As a husband and a father, I don’t at all want to see that happen to my family. According to Paul, who seemingly glorified imprisonment and death, “Life is the Messiah, and death is gain” (Phil. 1:21). I believe wholeheartedly in the Word of Yah and in His Messiah and the hope of eternal life I have been given; but I’m admittedly not OK with dying at any moment – let alone that I should lose someone in my family. But, “se la vie”, right?

I suppose it may be selfish, but there is still much I desire to do in this life and experience with my family. But, we don’t live in the world I grew up in. The places I used to read about in books as a kid don’t really exist as they once did. Maybe there’s nothing more to experience as I once wanted to experience them. They certainly won’t be around to experience in the new world to come. That aside, Paul indicated that we ought to forfeit our lives as “living sacrifices”. Hence my struggle – perhaps I should just let be whatever will be and let Yah deal with me however He chooses. That would then require me to not have any desire for anything in this life.

But I know the truth. At least, I believe I know the truth. “Love your neighbor as you love yourselves.” I would want “my neighbor” to have a full and happy life. Not one full of sin or materialism, but real and actual life. And though fear is a real emotion that we all feel from time to time, courage can only exist where there is fear. Courage defeats fear; without fear, there is no need of courage.

Holding to hope

In Revelation, Yah is quoted as saying the following:

“He who wins the victory will receive these things, and I will be his God, and he will be my son.”

Revelation 21:7

This is most comforting to me. It drives me to be better and to do better; to look forward with confidence. But His words come with a warning:

But as for the cowardly, the untrustworthy, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those involved with the occult and with drugs, idol-worshippers, and all liars — their destiny is the lake burning with fire and sulfur, the second death.”

vs. 8

I aspire to be a man of courage. I’m not quite there yet, and this Journal entry of me wearing my heart on my sleeve may cause me to be looked at as someone whose teachings aren’t worthwhile; but I want to be open and honest with you. Because of the quoted passages above, however, I will press ever onward in spite of how others may view me.

A coward would avoid these things at all costs, but I am not such a coward. I will press on and allow life to continue to happen as it happens. I will put my trust in the Almighty for my life and those of my loved ones. Earlier in the passage, Yah speaks a promise that I must end with. Though I don’t want to see anything bad happen to my family, I am fully aware that we all must die one day. So, I hold on to the promise:

“See! God’s Sh’khinah (physical/tangible glory or presence) is with mankind, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and he himself, God-with-them, will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will no longer be any death; and there will no longer be any mourning, crying or pain; because the old order has passed away.”

vs. 3-4

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